It was a normal Monday in November. I had just picked up my boys from preschool and kindergarten. They were very energetic that day and about a block away from our house. I put them out on the sidewalk and let them run home (It was a thing I used to do when they were young and so energetic that a car could not contain them and they loved it.)
My phone rang and it was my Mother’s secretary and in about 30 seconds my life changed. She told me my mom had passed away. They found at her in the hall of her house. They were unsure about the time of death. I was the first one in the family they got in touch with, so it was my job to give the news.
If you have never had to give tragic news to your loved ones please know that it is one of the most surreal conversations that you can ever have. How do you say it without just blurting it out and sounding cold? There’s really no good Way. You just try to get it out in a way where they can understand you.
Those next few hours felt like a dream. Calling my then husband and letting him know, my brothers, her sisters… It was a lot to process. I know we have all had tragedies and sadness. It’s a part of life. That doesn’t mean it makes the tragedy any less of a tragedy.
Being able to share your experience with others allows other people to feel validated in their feelings of sadness. It gives people permission to feel what they feel without shame or embarrassment.
My mom has been Gone 15 years. I still can’t believe it. She was my anchor. I talked to her almost daily about nothing and sometimes about big things… She gave me advice, recipes, and mostly just gave me perspective. A different way to look at things. She let me know when I was being silly, when I had too much make up on, when I needed to get a grip, and when I needed to let go. She was always truthful with me. I can hear her voice in my head, “Now ValREE….” (She was southern through and through and never pronounced my middle syllable.) “Now Valree, Don’t write down anything you wouldn’t want plastered on the front of the Advertiser Gleam (our local paper).”
I think about that with every post I post or email that I send. I think for the most part-she would be proud.
My parents inspire my work as a health coach and a yoga instructor and I love my job!
Adulting is hard. We always don’t have the support we want and sometimes become overwhelmed with life. As a health coach, I offer support for women who are juggling life, work, family and most of all their health. I give them a moment to slow down. I give tools to manage anxiety and help them focus on what they want out of their life.
I spoke to one of my brothers about writing a blog and he said blogs are written mainly for the writer. Well, shocker. I disagree. Haha I know my story. I wrote this down for YOU. Maybe it reminds you that life is a gift. Maybe it reminds you to call your Mom. Maybe it inspires you to find the time to get yourself healthy. You only have one life and your people are depending on you.