May can really stink for Moms. Good grief. It seems like every activity that my child participated in had an end of the year party. Add to that teacher’s field days, conferences, recitals, teacher appreciation, banquets, graduation gifts, Mother’s Day. It’s the Super Bowl of all months.
Now that I am on the sidelines watching, I can see how hard it is. Dang! No wonder I was so stressed. I didn’t want to leave anyone out. I didn’t want to miss a thing. What would I tell myself? How do you get through May without feeling like you have been drug behind a really slow car on a gravel road?
You pause. I know it seems counterintuitive when you have so much to do. But Pause. Ask yourself, “What is really important? What can wait until next month?” “How do I want my kids to remember me during this time of year?” You have choices on how you handle your stress level. Yes, this is a great time to start journaling even if it resembles a ‘to do list’.
Workout, drink your water and eat healthy food. You will be a much happier camper when you have supported yourself. Take your body weight multiply that by ½ ounce and that’s how much water you need. Yes, daily.
Take time to feel good about yourself. Check your closet and make sure you have something to wear to all those things. Hey-if you want to wear your workout clothes? Do it. But take time to do the things that make you feel attractive to yourself. No, it is not selfish. The look-good-feel-good connection is real.
Meditate. When you are waiting in car-pool line, do a meditation or breath-work exercise. Lots of free apps out there. Relax your jaw and give yourself love. Remind yourself daily of what you are grateful for.
Notice your thoughts. What is your inner dialogue saying? This is when knowing your personality type is such a useful tool. I am a type 2, which means my basic desire is to feel loved. According to the enneagram institute, “Twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others. They believe they must always put others first and be loving and unselfish if they want to get love. The problem is that “putting others first” makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny.”
Ouch. I know I have given too much when I hear that inner voice saying, “Look at what all I do! Why isn’t anyone helping me?!?” That’s the martyr. Time to step back.
Avoid the toxic complainer. I know it feels good to complain and vent about what all is wrong with a situation but constant complaining becomes a habit. It makes things worse than they are because you are only focusing on what is wrong. Energy flows where focus goes. Focus on the good.
You don’t have to be superwoman. You can if you want. Just make sure it doesn’t leave you huddling in a corner, trying to figure out what went wrong. When you take a step back, it gives others a chance to grow and shine.
Lastly, give yourself grace. Love yourself hard, even when you think you haven’t done anything right. Love, patience, grace, those aren’t just for everyone else. You gotta give those things to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. If you wouldn’t say it to them, change your inner dialogue.
Hey! You’ve got this! Its going to be a bumpy, busy ride for a bit, but hang on! It doesn’t last forever. All those feelings you are feeling? They are valid. Cry when you need to, then put your lipstick on and keep going. Your people are depending on you.