The Blog

Getting Clear About Your Health in Midlife

I have been cleaning out a lot lately. Both boys are off at college, and my oldest is about to graduate from Auburn!

Cleaning and clearing out was something that I had been putting off. I knew I would get a little misty-eyed, but I actually ended up enjoying it! That season of my life is over. O-V-E-R.  Those days of snotty noses, fighting over bed times, those many late nights watching some kind of sports activity – Done. Finished. At the time, it felt like they would last FOREVER! But when they actually did come to an end, I was a bit shell shocked. It took some time for me to acknowledge that it’s the end of a glorious season, and one that I treasured.

While cleaning, I found all my old books; How to Raise Boys, The Teenage Brain, What a Son needs from his Mother… That made me giggle. All these books we read in hopes of learning HOW to raise kids! Yet reading about and RAISING children are 2 very different things. Reading, watching, and actually DOING anything IS so different!

I had this very conversation with one of my clients last week.  She said she KNEW what to do, but she keeps getting frustrated that she isn’t actually DOING all the things. 

We are in the information age. ANYTHING and everything you might want to learn about is on the web. Eat more protein, eat more greens, move your body – but don’t overdo it!! Estrogen is bad, estrogen is GOOD… It can be overwhelming!

Don’t you get tired of beating yourself up? The ladies that work with me sure do… They have HAD it with the diet industry. They have yo-yo dieted, and they have proclaimed that the South Beach diet, or Weight Watchers, was the only way they have ever had true success. 

My question is always… “If it was so successful why aren’t you still on it?”

The answer I get?

“It’s too restrictive!” or “life got in the way!”  

They are ready to take back their life, and learn to focus on themselves. They are caregivers. They have spent a majority of time taking care of other people, and they are tired. They are tired of being a victim. Coaching is usually the last Hail Mary before giving up entirely! 

Know THIS… You don’t need any more information than you already have. It’s the application and the steps that trip us all up. 

If you struggle with actually doing what you know you should be doing, nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken, and no, it’s not just you. It’s that glorious part of being human. Taking meaningful action on what you already know often takes much more practice than you think it should. The habits, or lack of habits, you have now, have actually been there for a while. 

That’s where coaching really shines – it’s the guidance most people overlook because they’re convinced they should be able to do it themselves. We get comfortable beating ourselves up instead of asking for help (yes, I do this too).

I have the privilege of coaching some of the strongest ladies I know. Each one comes to me for something a little different. Their goals vary – but the main thing? They want to PROVE to themselves that they CAN succeed at their goals. Everyone needs a win, and I find so many mothers who are coming to the season of raising teens, caring for aging parents, or struggling with trying to find “date night”, and are still not convinced that their hormones are playing a role in their mood swings, because it feels much more natural to simply beat themselves up. 

Middle age comes along with all kinds of emotions and challenges. The thought of having more time behind us than in front of us, children growing up and leaving home, getting married and having kids of their own, a marriage that has lost its spark, an unanswered calling in life… True health is about strength, stamina, and self-confidence. This second half of life is wide open. It can feel overwhelming, and we can find ourselves dwelling on past mistakes, or our aches and pains, instead of focusing on the things that can be changed. 

I want you to get clear on what health means to you. It is way more than the size of your pants or looking good in a bathing suit. It would be so nice if health was just addressing food and exercise! But it’s not. Food and exercise are just slivers of the pie. Sometimes, the very thing that is standing in a woman’s way of doing what needs to be done is the very thing that she is most terrified of addressing – Emotions.

Hey! Want to learn more about coaching without actually talking to me? (I get it – I do that too!) Check out my latest online workshop entitled “Get Clear.” It gives you a good place to jump off and get really clear on what health means to you.

It will give you a good of idea what coaching is like, and if it’s something that could help you. Plus, it will help you become aware of what areas of your life might be misaligned with what you actually want!

I want you to LOVE yourself so deeply that maintaining healthy habits, self-care, and vitality feels like second nature, and coaching can help with that. 

Coaching is an investment in your future. Coaching helps you move past learning, reading, and watching, and into applying, integrating, evaluating, and adapting – which is exactly how you create true health. True health is an adventure in self-leadership! It’s way more than what you eat or your weight.

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