Summers can be a challenging time for Moms! Keeping kids active, not on their phone, keeping them fed. It doesn’t matter if you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, summers can be hard.
I asked my boys, now 19 and 21, what they liked most about summers. My youngest said, “I hated summers.”
Ouch. That hurt . “Tell me more,” I asked.
He replied, “You always made me get up. I had to work. You were in a bad mood.”
Okay, yes. I own that one.
I wasn’t exactly the ‘fun mom’ I wanted so desperately to be. I think that came from fear. I was so afraid of what could happen. Afraid of not being perfect. Afraid that I wasn’t getting this mothering thing right.
If I could somehow be magically swept back in time to those summers, here are the things I would do differently.
I lived in fight or flight much of my adult life. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t have boundaries. I was the people pleaser. Heck! I didn’t even know I had stress or anxiety until I worked on it. Although I didn’t do it then, now it is through counseling, meditation, yoga, prayer and spending quality time with my tribe. Those people that pick me up, dust me off and love me just as I am. Please hear me on this…There are ways to relax, and not feeling like you are caring the world on your shoulders. You just have to be WILLING to explore them. Keep asking questions. Be curious.
Ask for help
I never wanted to bother anyone. I thought everyone else had it together. (Wrong!) Its a struggle. Reach out! My parents were both deceased and I had no family here. If you don’t have family members near, you have to create your own support system. That was such a struggle for me! Get your help lined up.
Offer yourself more grace than you know is possible. You are not perfect. You won’t get everything right, but just showing up and being there for your kids, even in the most imperfect way, is the best gift you can give them.
So yeah, our summers weren’t the most jovial. I didn’t exactly get the award for ‘Fun Mom’ I was hoping for. But my oldest is working for a vet in Auburn, getting his application ready for vet school, and entering into his senior year at Auburn this fall. Meanwhile my youngest has taken off to Colorado to work as a zip line guide before starting his sophomore year. I am grateful God gave them both the brains to finish this last semester with 4.0 GPAs. I’ll take that.
So maybe, just MAYBE I didn’t have to be that “Fun Mom” after all.