The Blog

Just ask for help dang it!

Full confession. I hate asking for help. Some days it can be downright hard and a lot of times I don’t even know what to ask for. It can be frustrating. It can leave me feeling stuck and honestly just mad. At what, I REALLY don’t know-but I am just mad and frustrated.

It takes a lot of work to figure out what’s going on. The easy thing would be to just stay stuck. Be mad. Take all my frustrations out on others or kick my dog. (Poor ol Buster…I would never kick my dog.)

I could eat my feelings. After all we are marketed to believe “good food = good mood. Its okay-just go grab a Whopper and you will feel better. Hangry?? Have a Snickers. You deserve it. You deserve a break today.” You need food to feel better.

Eye roll-it’s a lie.  

It’s just feelings and feelings do change…in fact, by the time you read this I will have moved on and feel less stressed. But now? In this moment-I am frustrated.

So… what to do.. what to do…

  • Acknowledge my feelings. “I have every right to feel this way.” When we begin to acknowledge what we feel it makes it a lot easier to heal and move through resistance.

  • Change my perspective. I remind myself that asking for help builds connections by allowing others to share their information and resources and this in turn shows people that you trust their ideas, and appreciate their advice. Asking for help allows for the possibility of fresh ideas and perhaps a new perspective.

  • Remember. It is just as important to receive as to give. Allowing yourself to be a gracious receiver is a humbling experience and is truly an act of love because it offers a chance for others to give.

  •  Name it to tame it. What do you need at this moment? Who can help? Asking for help is the ultimate self-care. Many of us wait to ask for help until our anxiety is off the chain.

  •  Become reacquainted to me. The enneagram is a great tool for personality typing. Click here for free test The VIA assessment is another great tool to be able to focus on your strengths. You can take that one here.  

    If you are unfamiliar with an enneagram 2, we have a terrible time asking for help. Twos can burn themselves out and become overwhelming to others. They can become co-dependent lonely, insecure, and controlling in an effort to feel needed. If you have a 2 in your life. Be patient. Remind them that you love them for who they are not, what they do for you.

  • Exercise. I sometimes regret giving away my beloved punching dummy. He took a lot of my frustrations. Instead, I will jump on my mini-trampoline. Get a sweat going. Go for a walk.

  • Deepen my breath. Knowing that when we are in stressful times, we need deep abdominal breathing to encourage that full oxygen exchange to reduce stress and anxiety.

 As a health coach I am not immune to feelings. I am a 2 to my very core. I can become co-dependent, burned out, and overwhelm myself and others. I continue to do the work and share that work with others. Self-care is important to me so I can stay at my natural state of empathetic, sincere, and a motivating.

Afraid of asking for help can make us feel weak or vulnerable and that’s okay. Vulnerability is a super power. It helps us connect to people and feel less alone or isolated. It is so important recognize when you are headed down a not so productive path and be able to change your perspective. The more you ask for help, the easier it will become. Start with the small stuff and work up from there.

Want to know how you can help me? You can leave a comment below. I would love to know your enneagram number! Follow and comment on my social media page, leave a review on google.

Most of my clients find me through social media. My purpose? To help women feel better about themselves. To live long, healthy lives so they in turn can give back.


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