Another year coming to an end?!? That was fast! Do you immediately begin thinking about your goals for the next year? Or have you given up entirely on the idea of setting goals or resolutions because you don’t want to disappoint yourself? I get that too. Its easy to jump to resolutions, goals, upcoming life events, and everything in-between. However, in all the excitement of a “fresh start,” we tend to forget about self-reflection. Self-reflection is a great tool. It is about questioning, in a positive way, what you do and why you do it and then deciding if there is a better, or more efficient, way of doing it in the future.
Sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to take part in self-reflection. It can be a whole lot easier to focus on our grand hopes and dreams, rather than ponder on events that have already passed. However, self-reflection is important when it comes to setting new goals and resolutions. What we resist persists.
No, I am not talking about dwelling on past events that you can’t change. I’m talking about taking time to remind yourself what you learned this year. Even in the most painful of situations, there is something to be learned. What steps did you take that sped up your success? Which steps slowed you down a bit? What you are most proud of from 2022? Why?
My 2022 Reflections
2022 was a good year for me. Can I say that out loud? Is that allowed? I have had years when I wanted to crawl under my desk and cry (Which I did a lot of, and that’s perfectly okay). This year, I wanted to focus on some of things that I did in 2022 that I’m proud of. I’d like to invite you to do the same. Maybe this will spark a little self-reflection of your own.
Accepting the ups and downs of coaching
Running my own business had been hard for me. Like… Really hard.
Initially, I had this “If you build it, they will come” mentality. But I learned the hard way that this is just not always the case. I put so much work and love into building my business, that I felt like I should be able to succeed without any help. But the truth is, being all alone in my business was super scary. I felt like my theme song could have been, “All by myself” (channeling my inner Celine Dion).
One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a health coach, though, is that it is okay for things to be scary. And it’s okay to not know the perfect next step. And it is SUPER okay to ask for help when you feel stuck. Once I let go of pride and ego, I was able to move forward with my business. I was able to find more confidence in my business. and not feel so alone when things got especially hard.
Hiring a business coach
I decided to hire a business coach! One of the best decisions I have made in a while.
This was a difficult decision. I believed that I should be able to do everything on my own. I realized that’s not what running a business is about. Running a business is about being able to provide high-quality services to anyone who could benefit from them, which often requires a little bit (or a lot) of backup.
The key here was with finding the right coach for me. Just like finding the right health coach for your unique needs, finding the right business coach is essential for seeing success and reaching your desired goals. I was able to find the perfect coach to help me understand all the ins and outs of successfully running a business without burning out. This has helped me take my business to the next level, while also being able to put more of my attention towards supporting my clients.
Getting a consistent morning routing together
This has been a struggle.
For me, having a morning routing includes exercise, meditation, journaling, and breathwork to help reduce anxiety. Sounds great, right?
For the last 5 years, it has felt like every single time I was able to get a good solid routine down, something else would come along to derail it. Dealing with my divorce in 2017, 2018, my oldest son left for college, 2020 COVID, which threw off EVERYONE’s schedule! Then my baby left for college.
It takes a minute when you’re going through big life changes to set a routine. Be patient. Talk to yourself kindly. You will get through it easier being compassionate with yourself instead of beating yourself up. You don’t need hours to have a set mourning routine, but you do have to understand why your doing it and what your goal is.
This year I got serious about setting boundaries.
To be honest, I didn’t even know I struggled with boundaries! I was confusing being nice with setting boundaries. But I learned that these are not mutually exclusive. Being nice and setting boundaries are two completely different things. If you look up being nice, you will see synonyms like “good natured, pleasant, enjoyable, charming.” It has nothing to do with being a doormat and letting people walk all over you. Setting boundaries lets people know how they can treat you.
We all have different boundaries; what is okay to some might not be acceptable to others. But when you don’t speak up about what works for you, it gives people the idea you are okay with it. This usually leads to resentment.
Boundaries create a space that allows you to have your own feelings, make your own decisions, and know and ask for what you want without needing to please others. Boundaries mean saying no to things that don’t align with your priorities. Even when I know that boundaries are necessary, things like fear, ambivalence, low self-worth, and people pleasing can make it difficult to hold tight to my boundaries. That’s another reason why having a consistent morning routine is so important. It gives you time to reflect on things that are working and ponder new possibilities.
Getting real about time management
After working with ladies anywhere from the ages of 15 to 76, I’ve learned that they all have a few things in common, and the 1st thing is the belief that there will be more time later.
“I don’t have time.”
I have caught myself saying that in the past, but more often it was code for “that sounds really hard” (and I don’t want to admit it). It makes us feel better to say we don’t have time than to admit that we just really don’t want to put in the effort because it sounds hard.
We all have the same amount of time. When things are unfamiliar or uncomfortable or just downright hard, it’s an easy excuse. “I don’t have time for that,” “there will be more time when (fill in the blank) – the kids get older, once they drive, once they go to college…”
Try this next time you hear yourself saying, “I don’t have time.” Replace it with “that’s just not important enough for me to do right now.” It can be uncomfortable, but you can still be kind to yourself. When you are doing anything new-from trying to exercise consistently for the first time, to starting your own business, you will be uncomfortable. You have to find that balance of being kind to yourself vs knowing when it’s just an excuse because it’s hard.
Going to therapy
I have always been super interested in the brain, psychology, and mental health, which is a large part of why I enjoy coaching so much. I have a great therapist!
In 2022, I committed to going to my therapist twice a month for a whole year. I’ll be honest with you, it wasn’t always something I looked forward to. Going to therapy can be very hard work. But it works wonders to release the past. This is my safe place. I can talk about my beliefs and have someone who can listen without judgement as I get clear on who God is to me, grow in my faith and give Biblical principals I can understand and apply in my life.
Working on self-coaching
Because I have been coaching for 6 years, having all the credentials for a coach has allowed me to coach myself. I have so many tools at my disposal. When I am in that space of self coaching, I ask myself, “why do I want this? What is the next step forward?” When we are constantly giving to others, it becomes easy to forget our own needs, and get distracted or drawn away from our own struggles.
Self-coaching is a form of self care. It isn’t selfish to take some time away to work on myself. In fact, it’s actually a selfless act, it allows me to better help my clients. You can’t pour from an empty cup continues to be my mantra. If I don’t take some time to reflect and work on myself, how am I supposed to ask my clients to do so? How can I be there to coach them along the way if I haven’t even taken time to appreciate my own journey?
For me, self-coaching is all about looking for evidence that proves I can do whatever the next thing is. That I can take on whatever life throws at me. It’s also about reminding myself of the hard things I have done before. Personally, learning how to challenge negative thoughts and offering myself grace this year has been invaluable.
Now It’s Your Turn!
I encourage you now to take some time to do some self-reflecting as well. This doesn’t have to take long, it can simply mean pondering on your drive to work, or while you’re drinking your morning coffee. Just look back at your year and consider how your year went. You can try to think of areas of improvement, or recognize what strengths you noticed in yourself and your life.
Are you ready to get started? Click here and start your own 2022 reflections.
Give it a go! Go deep and see what you find. Don’t be afraid of writing down your true thoughts and feelings. It releases a lot of resentment. When thinking about what you are most proud of from 2022, think about WHY you are most proud. Do the same with shame. Is there something you are embarrassed about or ashamed of? You don’t want to take that into the new year. Let it go!
Take time to reflect before the year is over. It will give you a better understanding where you are going in 2023.
Hey! If you’re having trouble setting specific goals for yourself, or you have clear goals but just aren’t sure how you’ll be able to reach them, that’s where I come in. A health coach can help you through the process. I am currently accepting new clients, and would be happy to help you get clear about what you want to create in this new year. Click here to book a free consultation with me TODAY!
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