I work with ladies all the time, that say to me, “Val, I’m grateful. I love my family. I’m just tired.” I don’t want to cook. I don’t want to workout. I don’t want to doanything.
Classic signs of burnout.
How do I know? Because I have been there before and I do not wish to go back. Burnout is different from fatigue because it doesn’t go away with sleep, you still feel weary. It requires much more. Check out this tool! Yes! there are more.
See what you think…
Next time you hear yourself say the words “should” or “have to”, I want you to pause. Because those thoughts are not creating the feelings that drive the actions you say you want to take.
Heres the thing…
You actually don’t have to do those things you keep shoulding yourself about. You don’t have to clean the house. You don’t have to go to buy gifts and wrap them. You don’t have to go to that party. You don’t have to cook a big fabulous Christmas dinner. You don’t even have to go to church.
WWWHHHAAAT?!? Yes. These are all options. And once you truly recognize that, your world will become a completely different place.
Write a list of everything you “have to” and you “should” do and give yourself 3 options:
Can you hire someone to do it? Can you pay your kids to do something? Can you ask for help?
Is there something you can let go of? Do you really have to use the cloth napkins and make a huge flower arrangement for your table? Do you have unrealistic expectations for what you can actually accomplished in a 24 hour day? (this is why planning is So important)
Decide what it is you actually WANT to do. What makes you feel joy? love? Excitement?
The next part is IMPORTANT…
Do you really like your reasons for doing what it is you are doing? 🤔
If you chose delegate, why are you delegating it? Do you like your reason. If you choose to ditch something, why? Do you like your reason? Same questions for decide.
Because we are friends, I will share with you what my counselor told me once, “Valerie, if you show up as anything than what you are, you are being manipulative. If you do something you don’t want to do, you are not being genuine. It causes stress and when we are not authentic, we may suffer from depression, low self-worth, and lack of intimacy in our relationships.
It leads to resentment. Resentment does NOT go away by iteself. It creates stress and anxiety which impacts your mood and the cycle will replay itself OVER and OVER.
Yep. I did that. Just another reminder to stay authentic. Thats hard for me, I have practiced since childhood that I need to have people like me. People pleasing gets a bad wrap, but I will talk about that another day.
Setting healthy boundaries starts with the pause. “Be still and Know that I am God.” (Its like He KNEW we needed to hear that!) 🤓😉
And I want to give you a chance to PRACTICE the pause.
Rise and Radiate 6AM yoga at FUMC begins again! More info here!
Go ahead and sign up now! …you know your future self is SOOOO proud of all the changes of all those baby steps you are taking to optimize your health! Whenever you need inspiration and guidance…the vision you have of your future self is THE BEST Coach you could ever have.